Ireland Trip Cont.

I expect to pass through life but once.
If therefore, there be any kindness I can show,
or any good thing I can do to any fellow being,
let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it,
as I shall not pass this way again.


William Penn



While I was in Ireland I met a beautiful girl from Spain. We met in the lobby of my hotel where we tried to strike up a conversation. I know very little Spanish and she knew very little English. It was funny, pleasant, and frustrating. Like the ugly American I am I began speaking louder, hoping this would somehow bridge the communication gap. It didn't

Eventually we adjourned to a restaurant to have dinner. For a moment I felt like a young Hemingway, dashing my way across Europe picking up strange and exotic women from other countries. I was impressed by my own charm, until.......

The young woman began to cry. Very softly at first but then a little more. She was clearly in pain and I wanted to help. As a writer and a psychologist I love to hear myself talk. Although listening is the Hallmark of my profession, I've always enjoyed the didactic nature of psychology as well. I wanted to talk to her and dazzle her with my wisdom, but alas I could not. I thought of putting my arm around her but didn't know how this would be construed and rejected this as well. Although I know that most communication is non-verbal, I was truly stuck as to what to do to ease this woman's pain.

What I did was reach deep into the recesses of my mind to find some remnants of my forgotten High School Spanish. I gently tapped her hand, and she slowly looked up with sad eyes,


",Yo se que la vida es dificil" I said, (I know life is hard)

With this she looked up and smiled. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting, but one that nonetheless was nice to see. I could she was impressed I had recovered my language skills. Soon her smile faded though and she looked back down into the napkin that was folded in her lap.

"I am alone in the world," she said in broken English as she wiped a tear from her face.

"Me too," I replied, and she looked up with understanding eyes, this time patting my hand as she tried to comfort me.

"I know life is hard" she said.

And with this we both smiled, having discovered, in this odd little corner of the world, the power of making a small human connection.

This was a wonderful reminder to me about how nice it feels to help someone. There is a Zen Koan that posits that it is the giver that should be thankful, and this experience was a powerful reminder of how this idea applies to my life. It is truly a privilege to work in the profession of healing others, and this is something I had lost somewhere along the way. I returned to work today with a new found enthusiasm. Reminded from a small and simple interaction with a beautiful Spanish woman that we as people on this earth are supposed to help each other out along the way. It is a lesson I had forgotten, but, as is often the case, someone popped into my life at just the right time to remind me. I'm starting to see that there are always such people available to us if we have the courage find them. As Dostoyevsky said "Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid." This is not going to be me. Not anymore.